A Passion for Tomorrow

Here I sit. It's 2 am and I've had a major break through. For some reason, my profound moments always seem to occur at the most inconvenient times. Compassion. It's always on my mind. No, not "having" compassion, but my previous place of employment, Compassion International. I loved every part of my job, and I continually wish for what was. We have an opportunity of a life time and we are living it up, so to say, here in Europe. Yet, a huge part of me has never let go of what we left behind.

At Compassion I loved my job, the people, relationships with people, the leadership, and most importantly the purpose for which I worked; To release children from poverty, in Jesus' name. I miss having an important role; if I didn't get my work done, it affected child sponsorships. What I did mattered. Now, I love teaching PE. But, if there was not a PE class, wouldn't children just drive their teachers crazy with extra amounts of energy? Does teaching Physical Education really make a significant and meaningful impact in a child's life?

It's been hard to find my calling and purpose overseas. It's not what I had imagined. It didn't go as I had planned. I'm not some heroin rescuing women from human trafficking. I have not adopted a child that is needing a loving home. I have not brought joy and happiness to countless Ukrainian orphans. Have I only been sitting in idle since I crossed over the Atlantic?

As a Christian I always feel as though I must be "doing," yet, I can't work my way to heaven. However there is also the thought, "faith without deeds is dead." So which is it?

An "Aha!" moment struck as I was enjoying the evening with a very special friend.  As I shared how I have not found my purpose in Ukraine and have not seen an impact from our work here, she indirectly pointed out something that opened my eyes. What is my day to day life saying to the world?

Maybe we do not need to be involved with something specific and count up the hours, the jobs well done, charity passed out, miracles witnessed, or the emotional investment in a project. And although the world is in need of humanity's goodwill, perhaps it's as important to live faith out in our day to day; letting it shine in the essence of our character.

So, now here I am at 2 am wondering what this means. I am a hard worker, and enjoy having a lot on my to do list. I enjoy being productive. I love the reward of writing a list with boxes to check off and making my way through the list. I can't sit still. I want to be God's hands and feet, touching the world; making an impact for him.

Is faith without deeds (clubs, projects, ministries, specific or volunteer work) really dead? The question to ask is not, "What am I doing as a Christian," but maybe it's, "How am I living my life as a Christian." Who am I when no one else is watching? How am I spending my money and resources? How do I choose to respond in my anger? What do I give my time to? Am I just doing my job or am I caring for my students as individuals?

My greater purpose is not to have a specific ministry to belong, but to let my life be that ministry; serving, helping, and loving others naturally.  My impact occurs not in a planned and controlled project or group, but in daily encounters.  It's in choosing to love and date my incredible husband of 8 years, giving my daughter a kiss when I'm frustrated, going to my students' games in support, buying the most wilted ugly flowers from the babushka trying just to survive and make a living. It's in the little things.

Moving forward I hope to seize ever opportunity to live for something greater. To make better choices. To love deeper, smile longer, and laugh harder than before. I pray my life, in the day to day, is not a series of "to do" but has a passion that pours out into the world around me. May my focus not be in comparing the present with the past, but in new adventures and daily blessings that lie ahead.

Coffee House - Brewing Hope

“To provide youth, adults and families with an effective and comprehensive Christian faith-based solution to life-controlling drug and alcohol problems in order to become productive members of society. By applying biblical principles, Teen Challenge endeavors to help people become mentally-sound, emotionally-balanced, socially-adjusted, physically-well, and spiritually-alive.”

This is the mission statement for Teen Challenge, a global program serving in 87 countries. Each week ICA, our church, hosts one of these programs in Kiev, Ukraine. The meeting is called Coffee House. At Coffee House, individuals are welcomed to enjoy coffee, tea, and cookies, while they mingle, get support, discuss thought provoking topics, hear testimonies from recovering addicts, and most importantly, learn about God and his great love for them.

Coffee House exists to impact and change lives bound to addiction. And, that it does! Adam and I had the privilege of visiting our first Coffee House on Wednesday. What an encouragement it was to see a thriving ministry making a positive impact on people’s hearts. Now this is a ministry being used by God to mend the broken. You could hear the Lord’s heart beat at Coffee House. You could see the smile on His face. You could feel the warmth and love of his presence.

One addict shared his testimony. He lived a life full of regrets; drugs and alcohol flowed through his veins. He was convicted and sentenced to serve prison time. As he was awaiting his trial, his conviction ran much deeper. It was a conviction of the soul; he changed.

Although his soul was renewed and revived, his deeds were old. Prison time awaited him. In prison, God sustained him, and the man saw this as his place of ministry. One day he was being transferred on a train, where inmates are not allowed to talk. If they speak, they are beaten. The guards are hard, rough, and intolerant of inmate rebellion. The man, while in his train cell, started talking to other inmates about the Lord. The guards remained silent as the man shared his testimony and spoke of Jesus.

This is just part of his amazing story. God does the miraculous and the impossible; like transforming rock hard hearts into caring, loving, and passionate people.

During the discussion of the night, a man was sitting on my right. A thick odor of alcohol engulfed him. A strange sense of joy overcame me as I thought to myself, “This man is wasted, but he is still here!” Certainly I was not happy that a smelly and dirty drunkard was breathing over me, but I was happy that a man whom Jesus loves, still came; drunk and all. He still felt welcomed, cared about, and wanted to know more about the God who loves him.

Here we meet alcoholics, former KGB, convicts, and the like. We witnessed many great moments at Coffee House. It’s a place where people are loved; not being judged for their past, but being encouraged by future hopes of change and salvation.